President's Message, January, 2018

Post date: Dec 27, 2017 5:18:29 PM

Dear Friends:

In case you haven’t heard, I have been elected President of CAC---again. You’re probably asking the same question I am: “How could this travesty happen?" Well, here’s the story: Near the river I found an old oil lamp. When I picked it up, it smoked, and suddenly there was this tan guy wearing traditional Arabic clothing and claiming to be a genie. Of course, I didn’t believe it. (He didn’t even have light-brown hair.) But I figured, oh heck, just go with it. So I said, “This is the part where I get 3 wishes, right?” And he said, “No, we stopped that at the turn of the millennium. But you can have a herd of camels.” I said, “What?! All I get is some lame camels? I should stuff you right back in that lamp!”

So he said, “Alright, I’ll give you one wish. But don’t go overboard. I’m only a 3rd class genie.”

Well, I didn’t want to blow this. These guys can be tricky. After careful thought, I told him, “I always had a secret hankering to conquer the world. But now that I have this wish, I can skip the conquering and go straight to the ruling part.”

“Well,” he said. “That’s a tall order. Such a ruling position does not even exist. Would you settle for something like President?” “Wow,” I said. “That sounds pretty good. Imagine me, President.” So I took the deal. Still, I wanted to get some clarifications. But before I could say anything else, he uttered some kind of alakazam mumbo-jumbo. With a flash and a poof, I found myself at a CAC General Membership Meeting, where I was being congratulated for, (you guessed it) for being the only nominee for CAC President. (So don’t anybody complain to me. I am the victim here.) But there are two things you can all do to help me. First, rather than calling me President, I would very much prefer the title of “Emperor Czar Potentate Supreme.” It is not much to ask. And with a little practice it just rolls off the tongue.

Secondly, this is a great social club and offers a tremendous opportunity for fun and camaraderie. Look over your newsletter and check out the activities and upcoming events. There is something for everyone. Make a point to try something different, just for kicks. You will be glad you did. And for those who are so shy that you have not yet come to an event, please do come soon. We don’t bite. I would be delighted to see some new faces sharing our many good times with us.

Mike Kernan

Your Emperor Czar Potentate Supreme