President's Letter, January, 2019

Post date: Jan 8, 2019 3:19:01 AM

Mike’s Message for January

Yes, the rumors are all true. I am your President again in 2019. But don’t panic. The Board is keeping an eye on my every move. Pesky ankle monitor! But more to the point. January brings in a new year and a new outlook.

Let’s make this year one of our most active and sociable years ever. There is lots of fun to be had, lots of things to see, and people to meet. (Especially me!) I would like to establish a new motto for this new year. The motto I have chosen is: “Let’s Have Fun!” So this year, we will try to do all sorts of fun and interesting things to bring this motto to life. CAC will present many opportunities for you to get out and enjoy life with other like-minded people. But you have to do your part. Make a resolution to try some new events this year. Select an event you would not normally do, and give it a try. Throughout the year, this newsletter will present hikes, biking, picnics, dances, social nights, movies, dinners, meetings, weekends, sporting events, …and the list goes on. But your job is to drag yourself out of your lonely little house or apartment, and show up at these events. We can’t force you to come. Heaven knows, I’ve tried. I once established a Singles Mutant Ninja Police Force (SMNPF) to hunt down shy people and drag them to our events. But people kept getting away and calling police.

I still have an itch from that abrasive ankle monitor, and my emergency parole fund is dangerously low. But that’s another story. So this year, we can only provide you with opportunities to enjoy life. It’s up to you to get yourself there. OK? Good. I’m glad we had this nice chat. Now don’t just stand there. Go out and have fun!!!

Mike Kernan

President and Emperor Czar Potentate Supreme

(additional honorific titles pending)

P.S. Those pesky elves ignored my coal bin again this year. As a result, I spent the bulk of another Christmas Day cleaning up the living room. Someone did provide me with a sign, written in the elfin language that was supposed to say, “Please put the coal into the bin.” But only afterwards did I learn that it really said, “Elfin mothers wear army shoes.” Needless to say, this only angered them more. When I catch the guy who provided that bogus elfin sign (Victor), I will deal with him appropriately.