Mike’s Message for February

It’s February, and I’ll bet that many of you have already broken most or all of your New Year’s resolutions by now. But not me. I don’t even make my resolutions until February. That way, if people ask me if I have broken them yet, I can truthfully say “No.”  And I have some great resolutions, which, as you have probably figured out by now, I am going to share them here. Here are the best New Year’s resolutions you’ll ever hear in

February:

1.   I will learn what “resolution” means.

2.   I will stop crossing my fingers when I make resolutions.

3.   I will wait until the pizza cools so I don’t burn the roof of my mouth.

4.   I will only eat white snow.

5.   I will stop licking frozen flagpoles.

6.   I will attend more CAC events.

7.   I will respond to tense situations with compliments, even when they are punching me.

8.   I will be welcoming and warm to all new people at CAC events.

9.   I will work to improve my memory.

10. I can’t remember the last one.

If this list seems too long and difficult, then I suggest you select only one of these resolutions for yourself. I recommend #8, because it makes you feel real good and you make great new friends that way.

Now you are probably wondering why I need to make resolutions since I am already perfect. Well, I have news for you: I am not perfect. I used to be perfect, but I had to give it up because it made people jealous of me. I gave up perfection in 1998. It was my new year’s resolution at that time, and I am proud to say that I have kept it ever since.

Mike Kernan

CAC President