We are gradually plodding through this pandemic while still offering some good, safe activities for our members. We have outdoor hikes, mini golf, biking, canoeing, and outdoor mass, to name a few. The CAC Board is actively working to provide you with ways to enjoy life despite the current restrictions. I think they deserve medals. (Preferably solid gold ones with platinum trim. You can each arrange to have one made and turn them over to me for ultimate distribution to the Board members. I will be more than happy to do that…Much more than happy.) If you have any ideas for safe activities, please contact a board member by email or phone to discuss it. We are always looking for ideas.

Please keep in your prayers those members and former members who have lost loved ones recently.

 

Mike Kernan / CAC President

If you are like me, you are experiencing some degree of depression in the face of this lock down. For single people like us, it is harder since we live alone and have fewer opportunities for interaction. That is why we have CAC. Take advantage of the opportunities we present for you. You will be glad you did. I am certainly glad. I used to hide under the bed when I got worried. Then I joined CAC , and I hardly ever hide under the bed now....well, unless I am being chased by Godzilla, the Boogie Man, or Frankenstein. In those cases, the best place to be is under the bed. But, for all other times, CAC is the place to be. (Hey, that rhymes!)

 

Please note that the CAC Board has been working diligently to provide events during this pandemic. Sadly, a lot of them could not be held, but we keep trying. Fortunately, we did manage a few outdoor events last month and everyone seemed to enjoy them immensely. The simplest event can be a big deal during a lock down. For July, we have various events scheduled. We are much more hopeful that most will take place, as the lock down is supposed to ease as time goes on. So, check your newsletter for some great social options. Of course, all events must abide by social distancing guidelines, and we should continue wearing masks, at least for indoor events. (It just occurred to me that Godzilla, the Boogie Man, and Frankenstein never wear a mask. I should probably report them. Maybe that will get them off my back.)

 

Mike Kernan

CAC President

The past two months have been a difficult for all of us. Our events were cancelled and our entire lives came to a standstill. As of this writing, it is not apparent when this will end. CAC has planned events for May, with the hope that life can resume by then. Of course, everything is tentative, and is contingent upon the lifting of the stayat-home order. Some major events, like the Square Dance, are being postponed for logistical reasons. We will publicize the new scheduling when ready. A lot of people are concerned about the Fall Weekend trip to Niagara Falls. That trip is still on, as we expect that things will be well back to normal by then. However, if the travel agency would cancel the trip, they would refund our money. Unrelated to the current emergency, we have also faced the loss of old friends among the CAC alumni. In the past few months, we lost both Steve Ruggiero and Rick Faccenda, who were very active and much liked club members in the 80’s and 90’s. Also, various members and alumni have reported the recent deaths of their parents. Sadly, all this is to be expected as we age, but it is nonetheless difficult and disheartening to say “Goodbye” to loved ones. And it is made all the more difficult now because we cannot come together to share our grief or to celebrate our shared lives. We couldn’t even celebrate Easter in church! But with hopeful hearts, we will continue to plan for a lively CAC, and I encourage you to keep in touch with your family and your CAC friends during this difficult time. This will help us all to endure until our lives return to normal again. May God bless and keep you all.

I love April because it is full of warmth, sunshine, blue skies and flowers---well, at least when it‘s not raining. Now we can begin planning our outdoor activities, like hiking and biking, and canoeing and softball and parades. There will be no need for our members to sit at home sulking because there is nothing to do. No Siree! All you need is your April Newsletter, and there it is: a whole month loaded with great activities with super fun people(like me).Sadly, the Board did not approve my request for funding for a paddy wagon, rope, and cattle prods to coax reluctant members to attend our events. But don’t worry. You can still come on your own just for the fun of it and you can meet all those fun people who regularly attend (like me). We have some exciting events this month, and still more in future months. Everything we do ends up being fun. Check out our annual spring mixer on April 17th. Don't forget the play "Xanadu" at Bishop Canevin on April 25th. In May we’re planning a Pirate baseball game and a Canoe Trip on a calm water section of the Youghiogheny River. These are just a few of the great events the Board has planned for us. So, when the April sun shines through the window, greet it with a smile because CAC has some great plans for you! Aren’t you glad you joined? I am.

Mike Kernan / CAC President

When I was a little kid, I used to think that, on the first day of spring, the weather would stop being cold and blustery, and immediately turn sunny and warm. I awaited the first day of spring with great anticipation, expecting to run outside in a light t-shirt and frolic in the sun. Imagine my disappointment when I woke up on March 21, went over to the kitchen door and peered out to see a cold, dreary, overcast morning with a couple of flakes of snow, and a no hint of sunshine. I felt gypped! I thought, “Who is in charge of this stuff anyway? Mommm! What happened to spring?” Of course, Mom couldn’t fix this disaster, and instead, she imparted some parental wisdom on me. She said, “Spring comes when it wants to come. Not when you want it to come.” Instead of learning a lesson, I felt even more gypped. What good are parents anyway if they can’t fix this stuff? 

Mike’s Message for February

It’s February, and I’ll bet that many of you have already broken most or all of your New Year’s resolutions by now. But not me. I don’t even make my resolutions until February. That way, if people ask me if I have broken them yet, I can truthfully say “No.”  And I have some great resolutions, which, as you have probably figured out by now, I am going to share them here. Here are the best New Year’s resolutions you’ll ever hear in

February:

1.   I will learn what “resolution” means.

2.   I will stop crossing my fingers when I make resolutions.

3.   I will wait until the pizza cools so I don’t burn the roof of my mouth.

4.   I will only eat white snow.

5.   I will stop licking frozen flagpoles.

6.   I will attend more CAC events.

7.   I will respond to tense situations with compliments, even when they are punching me.

8.   I will be welcoming and warm to all new people at CAC events.

9.   I will work to improve my memory.

10. I can’t remember the last one.

If this list seems too long and difficult, then I suggest you select only one of these resolutions for yourself. I recommend #8, because it makes you feel real good and you make great new friends that way.

Now you are probably wondering why I need to make resolutions since I am already perfect. Well, I have news for you: I am not perfect. I used to be perfect, but I had to give it up because it made people jealous of me. I gave up perfection in 1998. It was my new year’s resolution at that time, and I am proud to say that I have kept it ever since.

Mike Kernan

CAC President

Mike’s Message for January

By the time you read this, you will probably already know that I have been elected president yet again. And I know what you must be thinking: “Oh, the travesty of it all!”  I know. I feel the same way. It’s like that movie, Ground Hog Day. I am stuck in this repeating cycle with no end. Too bad most of the impeachment experts are all too busy right now. Hmmm. Maybe somebody can organize a CAC coup. (If you need more people, I’ll even join. I’m open to anything at this point.)

Well, at least being president does not preclude me from enjoying all those great CAC events. As a member, I do get to enjoy all the friendship and camaraderie that come with membership. CAC is all about enjoying life with other people. If CAC were a product, I would call it, “Friends in a Can.” Whenever you’re bored or lonely, just open up a can, and Voila! Instant party! But we can’t pack all those people in a can. (The officials frown on that.) So instead, we pack all the fun into this newsletter. Just open up the newsletter, and there it is: all sorts of pre-planned, fun events for your enjoyment. No can opener needed. Just show up at the designated places and times, and let the good times roll!  What could be better than that? So instead of griping about another year with me as your president, just put it out of your mind and come on out and have fun. I won’t stop you. And if there is a successful coup that topples me, I’ll throw a huge party and you can all come! Please don’t object. Just let me dream…

Mike Kernan

CAC President

P.S. I have some extra coal left over from Christmas in case anybody needs some.

Mike’s Message for December

It is finally the last month of my 2019 Presidency, and to my surprise the club has survived. Like all of you, I find myself getting ready for Christmas.

Santa always remembers me on that magical day. His annual coal delivery to my living room has been growing steadily each year. For a long time I was upset about this.  It’s very messy and hard to clean up. I used to board up all the doors and windows and put a roaring fire in the fireplace. But that pesky elf managed to get in every time. Then one day, I happened to learn that North Pole anthracite (NPA) is the best quality coal on earth.  Since then, I have made a killing every New Year’s Eve selling the whole load on the coal spot market. (NPA sells at a very high price.) I have customers calling in their orders in advance. In fact, I have to be extra bad this year to make sure I reach my goal of 50 tons.

So instead of thanking the Board for all their hard work, I decided to insult each one of them. (That ought to rake in the coal!)  So here goes:

I really should take this opportunity to thank all the Board members for their tireless efforts. Their hard work scheduling, planning and executing numerous events and their many details was key to this year’s success. But I’m not going to do that. My need for coal comes first. So here’s to all you hard working Board Members:

“Sucker born every minute! Pppbbbfffttt! Nyyeaaahhh!”

Sincerely,

Mike Kernan

President, CAC Pittsburgh

P.S.  I guess I can settle for only 49 tons of coal, so… May all of our CACers have a warm and blessed Christmas with family and friends this year. And thank you all for sharing a wonderful year filled with friends. May there be many more for all of us.